...you always said the first thing coming to your mind?

On a normal day, we usually talk to several people, discuss about more or less relevant topics and give our opinion on them. Whenever we do so, we have the choice: Do we just say the first thing that comes to our mind or do we take a moment to think? Do we say the truth or not? And if not, do we just avoid making a statement or do we tell a lie?

Lets start with an easy scenario: If you had to choose between red and blue, which colour would you choose? In this case your answer would probably be the first thing that comes to your mind. So lets change the scenario a bit: Imagine your mother comes in with a blue and a red cup, one is for you, one is for your little sister who loves the colour blue. You also prefer the blue cup and your mother asks you which cup you want to have. So what would you say now? Would you simply take the blue cup without thinking of your sister? Would you remember that she would be sad in case you choose the blue cup? And if so, would you still choose it? Would it have an influence on your answer if you just had a fight with your little sister, or if she just gave you a nice present? I can not answer these questions for you, but in case I was in this situation and I would simply say everything coming to my mind, my answer to the simple question red or blue could be the following: “I would prefer the blue cup, but I know it would make my sister sad and since I am the older one, I should probably be nice and take the other one. But sometimes she can be so annoying and she always gets everything she wants, so actually I want to take the blue cup. Anyway, probably I would feel bad afterwards if I don't leave it for her. You go first” And so on, so my answer would be pretty long if I just said everything coming to my mind which would probably annoy the others. Nevertheless, it would express best what I think and it would make it easier for other people to understand not only my decision but also me with my moral concepts.

However, there are other situations where saying everything coming to your mind can have a bigger effect, for example when someone asks you about your opinion about a touchy topic. Usually you will want to avoid to upset the other person, trying to not to answer the question, putting the answer in very nice words or maybe even telling a lie. Being 100% honest and just saying exactly what you mean will probably surprise people, some might get angry but some others might come to appreciate this complete honesty.

But let's take it even further, because obviously people do not always ask for your opinion, even though you have one. Imagine you are on your way to school. Maybe you cross someone obese wearing to tight clothes. What if you just told that person? Or what if someone got some bird poop on the jacket and you just tell the person? Would the person appreciate knowing about it so that he or she could try to wipe it of? Or would the person just be embarrassed? What if you sit in a discussion as observer but you don't agree with what is being said and you start sharing your thoughts?

To sum it up, saying the first things coming to your mind usually means complete honesty and saying the truth all the time, especially unasked, is for sure not easy as it can often hurt people's feeling and is not necessarily in line with the society's expectations (which is weird as being frank is considered as morally correct). Nevertheless, I believe that a bit more honesty, and sharing our thoughts more often can be really enriching, as it helps to understand the actions of others. So give it a try!